Con Boutsianis was framed! Sydney FC sucks and so does the a-league | Sydney FC sucks and so does the a-league |
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| Written by JayFC The Internet Warrior God | |
| Thursday, 27 September 2007 | |
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To quote Archie Thompson “Sydney FC are the a-league” and thus, the a-league sucks. Here is why the a-league sucks:
Clint Bolton - 13 years of wonderful service to the local game. Unfortunately, this is his 15th year in the game. Was once a great goalkeeper until 2006 when he decided that he didn't want to handle crosses without fumbling them directly into the path of an opposing player. Tony Popovic - When all the old timer Socceroos were coming home to help out the domestic scene, Popovic decided to go to Qatar and get a comfy pension cheque. Has now decided to come back and is thus old, slow and fat. He was given the captain's armband despite his only contribution to the club being that he attended 2 training sessions because BRANKO CULINA IS A SUPERCOACH. Jacob Timpano - Nicknamed as Anthony Crea's prodigal child due to his continual injuries. Fans have seen Jacob Timpano less than Ian Hewitson has seen his cock. Has been 2 weeks away from returning from injury for the past 2 and a half years. Ruben Zadkovich - One of those players who gets labeled as "potential" because "is only playing due to poor recruitment and would still be rotting away in the winter league if the salary cap wasn't so low" is too difficult to roll off the tongue. He is currently racing Tony Popovic for being responsible for the majority of Sydney’s conceded goals although both should be weary for a late surge from Fyfe come the end of the year. Mark Rudan - Was once placed under arrest in Germany for fraud due to a dodgy transfer deal. Sadly, those charges were dropped and now, the worst chant in football exists in "Mark Rudan is a big blue man". Alex Brosque – Also known as the reason why Sydney won’t be going to the finals series this season. He’s like the ethnic version of Brett Holman but with half the finishing ability. Juninho – If he wasn’t signed, you could get a whole side of Aussie Stadium to yourself, instead of just a bay as it is now. However, having the weight of expectations on his shoulders was too much for him and eventually popped one of them out because of it. Fox Sports is grateful of the injury though as it gives them more opportunities to ask him what he thinks of Australia. Nikolas Tsattalios - Branko Culina has a fear of starting players who can cross a ball so you won’t see much of him this season. Branko also has a fear of rational thinking and would rather start Ruben Zadkovich, Iain Fyfe and Adam Casey at left back than play someone who knows the position. His name also sounds like a dip. David Zdrilic - This poem best describes him;
we call him the donkey
made our salary cap shonkey points deducted finals hopes abducted we thought he was the juggernaut but he ate too much stroganoff best case scenario is he rides the pine or gets wrapped in carpet, thrown into a river and eaten by the brine Matthew Nash - Caused mass stiffies amongst the Sydney fanbase when on debut, he managed to catch a cross without dropping the ball, a sight that FC fans aren't too familiar with. Is only here on a short term contract though and will return to rotting away in the state league asap. Ivan Necevski – His sister is rather difficult to fool. Patrick – A devoit Catholic. Let me bring you closer to god, by shoving a picket through your skull. Was signed off a youtube video. An 8 minute one at that. That alone makes him the most embarrassing things to happen to Sydney FC since Pierre Littbarski’s poosuit. Steve Corica - SHOULD RETIRE NOW BEFORE PEOPLE CATCH ON THAT HE IS PAST IT. Michael Enfield – Imagine Salazar minus the famous dad. After some jokingly pre-season banter, it looks like he is genuinely going to be seen on the pitch less than his American counterpart which is scary because Salazar was seen less than the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. He is also Jewish so if you think he is a bad player, you're a holocaust denying antisemite. Robbie Middleby – Despite the new IR Laws introduced by the Howard government, Middleby still hasn’t been fired. Yet, I can somehow get the sack just for throwing oil soaked pieces of schnitzel at customers. FFS this country is fucked. Adam Casey – Is just another sad sign of the below par DEVELOPMENT OF AUSTRALIAN YOUNGSTERS, LACKING THE VERY BASICS OF A FOOTBALLER SUCH AS COMPOSURE, ABILITY TO READ THE PLAY AND GETTING A FUCKEN SHOT ON TARGET EVEN WHEN HE IS UNMARKED METRES AWAY FROM GOAL. Adam Biddle - You may have noticed that halfway through the last paragraph I started writing in capslock. That was because I realized that I could copy and paste that exact paragraph here Ben Vidaic – and here too : “ ( Ufuk Talay – I don’t know what to write here (seriously, 3 years here and what have you done again?) so I’m going to write about the time I sat behind Stephanie Brantz. Fuck that bitch has a great ass. I was sitting behind her at this Socceroo-Solomons game and man-o-man, I couldn’t wait for the Mexican Wave to make it over to our bay again so I could catch another glimpse of her sweet behind getting off the seat. God bless The Fanatics and their shit attempts at crowd participation! Mark Milligan - Mark Milligan, if he isn’t busy fucking up Asian Cup campaigns, he’s busy fucking up a-league campaigns. Iain Fyfe – When he isn’t  or  , he is making sure that his pedostache looks extra creepy to ensure it maintains that ‘counting down the days until Dakota Fanning becomes legal’ look. Seriously, it looks like he wants to fuck the grave of Jon Benoit.
Terry McFlynn – Fans love him because he works hard. Apparently, that is enough to ignore his inability to make a pass connect to someone that is 7.5metres away. If only the fans realized that he wouldn’t be working as hard if he wasn’t having to clean up his mistakes all the time. Brendon Santalab – If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. If this was true, you could find nothing written about Santalab on the internet. To paraphrase Les Murray “take your cute looks and cute shots off target and your cute one dimensional running back to Scandinavia you stupid fucking douche.”             
JayFC wrote on September 27, 2007
Title: ...
I am the sexiest a-league blogger. Yes, even sexier than Jesse Fink!
|| JayFC wrote on
September 27, 2007
Branko Culina wrote on September 29, 2007
Title: ...
Your constant bagging of the a-league tells me you are a fucking EPL supersnob. Go
|| Branko Culina wrote on
September 29, 2007
Lying Truth wrote on September 30, 2007
Title: ...
Ah modern football, Australian style, has left a permanent skidmark on the back of my iris's. Thankyou (Str)Fyfe and all.
Bring back the effnixs
|| Lying Truth wrote on
September 30, 2007
JayFC wrote on September 30, 2007
Title: ...
I still stand by all these comments, especially the sexiest blogger statement.
|| JayFC wrote on
September 30, 2007
Jesse Fink wrote on October 01, 2007
Title: ...
You're not sexy. I brought sexy back you fucking faggot.
|| Jesse Fink wrote on
October 01, 2007
Lying Truth wrote on October 01, 2007
Title: ...
sexy blooger lol you, a pasty whitbread boy from the sticks. Sexy! You are about a sexy as a pasty whitebread boy from the shire.
Get some sun! Nah, lucky for you that all a-league bloggers are all the same. emaciated honkeys with FM finger who cannot get enough nouvo-trance pumping from an ipod. So you probably are the sexist blogger by default. Get some sun!
|| Lying Truth wrote on
October 01, 2007
Jesse Fink wrote on October 01, 2007
Title: ...
And as for Corica we all caught on about him in pre-season. But the Cove fags were too busy suggesting that fukn stupid 'sydney' song be played at the beginning of matches.
I love your site, it never goes down unlike the abortion that is sfcu. Never forget Donkey.
|| Jesse Fink wrote on
October 01, 2007
Lying Truth wrote on October 06, 2007
Title: ...
Hi JayFC, I've changed my mind. You are the sexiest blogger ever. Now send me flowers or something.
Love, Lying Truth
|| Lying Truth wrote on
October 06, 2007
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