Con Boutsianis was framed! Soccer – it isn’t what it used to be | Soccer – it isn’t what it used to be |
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| Written by JayFC The Internet Warrior God | |
| Tuesday, 27 November 2007 | |
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Soccer; the coward’s version of rugby league. The official sport for sissy kids worldwide. They call Rugby the game they play in heaven. That’s because no homosexuals play the sport. So by that logic, soccer is the game they play in hell, unless you’re a Hindu, in which case, this comparison doesn’t affect you because you will just reincarnate into an iguana or something. Despite these poorly thought out metaphors, soccer is spinning out of control into a downward spiral and it all can be blamed on various football federations stripping away all the interesting points of the game in a bid to avoid facing any public liability lawsuits. As a result, football is no longer seen as a manly game, which has been met with mass cheers from the corporate world because that means they can now sell coward shit like shinpads, ankle guards, mouthguards and finger-warming gloves to the players of today. Soccer today makes me sick. Once upon a time soccer had an ounce of dignity. If the fans were bored, they wouldn’t start a Mexican Wave; they would start a Mexican Riot. Sponsors would have paid players like Danny Tiatto and Kevin Muscat thousands of dollars to have their brand advertised on the bottom of their shoes because their ever-frequent studs up tackles would guarantee plenty of showing. The best midfielder in the world would rather have a case of conjunctivitis than watch a show like Queer Eye for the Straight Eye. American players were so patriotic of their country, they would literally shit out statues of liberty and refuse to play in Europe because of the lack of Bald Eagles there. The most common sound in a football stadium wasn’t applause but rather the sound of ankles being snapped by poorly timed challenges. Only defenders would wear red boots but the only reason their shoes were red was because they weren’t able to wash their opponent’s blood off them. And nobody made any homosexual innuendos about the players wearing short-shorts because every player’s knuckles was coated with various D.N.A. traces of their competitors due to the numerous fist-fights that would break out during the game at any given time. I am of course talking about the 1960’s. Sport was better back then, maybe because things like polyester-blend shirts weren’t worn, the music genre “emo” hadn’t been created and no one voted for The Greens, not even ironically. Now the game has gone to the dogs. Just look at the things that will get you cautioned in soccer nowadays;
Jamie Harnwell. He has all three of those things which is why his fan base is so large today. How many times have you seen Jamie play with a bloody bandage wrapped around his head? Almost as often as you’ve seen him score off his head. That’s because Jamie Harnwell isn’t a pussy. When he celebrates a goal, he doesn’t feel the need to bash up inanimate objects like a flagpole, billboard or Terri Schiavo. He doesn’t feel the need to take off his shirt to taunt and/or arose the opposition. Hell, he doesn’t even feel the need do some choreographed dance he saw while watching the Broadway play, The Boy From Oz. That’s because Jamie is a man’s man. When the game finishes, he doesn’t go to a club with his “homies”; he cuts down trees from heritage listed forests and starts tire fires. When he’s thirsty, he drinks milk straight from the cow’s udder because he isn’t girly enough to have his milk pasteurized like the kids of today. And when he wants sex, he doesn’t slip on a pink polo shirt with some European city’s name written on the back of it, don some excessively oversized Gucci sunglasses, spray himself with $150 cologne to give him that ever alluring smell of cat urine and flirt with extremely slutty women at the local pub; he has a cold shower and remembers god’s teachings. Unfortunately, people like Jamie are hard to come by in the modern game because today, the game is filled with too many David Carneys (read on). Let us compare David Carney to Willie Mason for a second. David Carney was sick of collecting dicks in the ass at Sydney and wanted to collect splinters in the ass at Sheffield United all because they offered him more money. Where is the loyalty? Sydney FC was the club that had propelled him into a household name by playing him out of position and made him a full fledge international thanks to his form earning him a call up to one of the worst socceroo squads ever assembled, yet he simply runs away from them because he doesn’t want to earn 50% less than what they pay David Zdrilic, a man who hasn’t scored in 1675 minutes. Truly shameless. It brings me to a quote from an intellectual beyond his years at the SFCU forums; “carney will stay if he loves the emblem enogh and dosent mater what he gets but these datys most of the players move to europ becaus of good money but where is there pride” – macri_boy, Mensa International Now even though he felt the need for punctuation or correct spelling wasn’t necessary, the point still echoes loud and clear, which is why I brought up Willie Mason at the beginning of this paragraph. At the same time Carney was quick to sell his soul for a donut, Mason turned down a million dollar contract to stay with the club who made him what he is today; an overrated, cocaine-snorting, taxi cab ditching, “alleged” rapist with self-diagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder. Of course, Mason has now left the Bulldogs because they wouldn’t let him fight in a boxing match but even the strongest of loyalties can be tested when your club tells you to act like a pussy and not punch a guy repeatedly in the head until hemorrhaging occurs. Why don’t you just ask him to go knit some cotton doilies for the toilet rolls and read the cooking section in this month’s issue of Women’s Weekly? It’s the same message you’re sending. The point is, too many players today are just like Carney. They will simply go wherever there is more money. You know who else does that? Prostitutes. Unfortunately, these whores have no heart. And that is solely what is wrong with the game today. As the sport’s governing body eradicate things like studs-up tackles, punch-ups and linesman-ballsack whackin`, they in turn eradicate things such as players having heart. In the sixties, players had heart, which is why shit like finger-gloves and pink soccer boots didn’t exist. Could you imagine a player back then making a career-ending tackle wearing pink soccer boots? Of course you can’t. But sadly, soccer today has been branded as the wimp sport so much so that pink boots are acceptable as are people wearing finger gloves because god forbid players would let their wanking hand suffer the effects of cold weather. If only having balls were still a requirement to play soccer, then maybe today, jersey designs wouldn’t become so outrageous, that the humble soccer field wouldn’t second as a seedy catwalk runway for this winter’s fashion trends. Soccer is dead.             
baggio wrote on November 27, 2007
Title: ...
Why not quote something I say? I've brought thousands of clicks to this site you ungrateful faggot with my advertising on SFCU.
p.s Dom is a Juve supporting tard. p.p.s Never forget David Beckham p.p.p.s 79,000 noobs to a game is pretty good. p.p.p.p.s JayFC is sexy
|| baggio wrote on
November 27, 2007
JayFC wrote on November 27, 2007
Title: ...
I have written a whole chapter about you in my book "The real truth of Australian Football" but no publisher has published it yet because they are all cowards. This is because Frank Lowy is a jew and we all know that the jews run the media, so he doesn't want this 190 page bombshell dropping on his little Hiroshima called the a-league.
website || JayFC wrote on
November 27, 2007
Frank Lowy wrote on November 28, 2007
Title: ...
JayFC,
My daughter told me that you are circumcised already. Plus your book sucks because it didn't mention me enough.
website || Frank Lowy wrote on
November 28, 2007
lying truth wrote on November 28, 2007
Title: ...
I find it strange that you make the reference between homosexuality and modern football, But in the same article you have maintained obvious undertones of your desire to have Jamie Harnwell rip your arsehole open until it bleeds.
Pfft just like the rest of the right wing agenda driven opinon writers around the world who cannot go one paragraph without contraticting themselves and or Hypocrisy. I thought you where different. You used to be all about the music.
|| lying truth wrote on
November 28, 2007
AKTIFMAG wrote on November 30, 2007
Title: ...
"They call Rugby the game they play in heaven. That’s because no homosexuals play the sport"- probably the greatest line I have ever read in an article.
website || AKTIFMAG wrote on
November 30, 2007
dylan wrote on December 14, 2007
Title: article
I have read your article on how football has changed and I think it's absolutely brilliant. good work mate, keep it up.
website || dylan wrote on
December 14, 2007
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