Con Boutsianis was framed! Danny Vukovic: The never ending story | Danny Vukovic: The never ending story |
|
|
| Written by JayFC The Internet Warrior God | |
| Wednesday, 19 March 2008 | |
|
Vukovic has got balls, people. Huge balls. When he walks, he feels his nutsack slapping against his ankles. It’s like he is suffering from Elephantiasis and only his balls are showing the effects of it. In fact, he has developed a hunchback from carrying those two craters that are in between his legs. Sadly, proudly presenting the fact that he has a Y-chromosome has gotten him into trouble as his vicious onslaught on Mark Shield has landed him in hot water, with a 12 month suspension being handed down for his assault on the referee’s palm. Much like Sky Sports and the Eduardo incident, Fox Sports opted not to replay the event during their live telecast of the grand final because of the extremely graphic content which could have mentally scarred many younger viewers. Shield’s life was hanging by a thread after the unprovoked attack, only narrowly avoiding life-threatening injuries such as a dislocated phalanx, strained wrist and multiple fractured pinkies. Okay, so it is a tad difficult to hype up this petty shit but this hi-5 of doom is creating worldwide headlines and quite frankly, it’s embarrassing to the a-league. But what it’s even more embarrassing is Danny Vukovic and the Mariners’ inability to let it go. 8 months later and this pussy-assed faggot shit is still relevant news. What the fuck man? This shit just keeps coming back like a case of genital herpes and it’s beyond the joke now. Yes, yet again, The Mariners are launching a last ditch appeal in a vein attempt to avoid being cursed to use Matthew Trott as a goalkeeper. How will this defence differ from the previous two? Maybe they’ll claim there was a mosquito on Shield’s hand and Vukovic didn’t have any aeroguard on him. Perhaps they’ll proclaim that Vukovic had phased out and thought Sheild’s hand was his girlfriend’s face and was just trying to keep his women in line. Maybe they’ll debate that Danny went to punch Sasho Petrovski in the mouth and missed by a good metre and a half. Perhaps they’ll say Danny was playing Scissor Paper Rock and Vukovic’s paper beat Sheild’s rock. They might use the argument that they should use common sense and drop these charges immediately because it’s fucken stupid but judging by their in/exclusion of Northern Thunder into the a-league, they obviously wouldn’t be too familiar with the concept. Regardless of what their defence may be, I hope the FFA throw the book at Danny and teach him a lesson. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of these new aged, Body Shop aroma candles, Missy Higgins listening, save the whales sensitive type who thinks that referees should be more protected than endangered species. Far from it in fact. I just want to read about soccer the sport, rather than soccer the condensed form of saturated pussyness, so if the FFA decides to punish Danny further for resurrecting this, they have my full blessing. Sure, I could say Mark Shield is a bitch who is so pussy that he should see a gynecologist while reminiscing about the good old days where shit like this was the norm as demonstrated in the fourth minutes of this video before apologizing for making you see the sight of untalented anglos in the said video. Then I could continue on by saying that was the best thing about the good old days and say something about how men had balls back then and if you ever doubted that they did, with their shorts being so short there was a good chance you could see the odd ball slipping out to vanquish your skepticism. I could then tell you that this is just the reality of soccer today as its run by a bunch of Knox Grammar faggot types instead of graduates from the school of hard knocks that majored in a degree in skull fractures. I could draw reference to this being evident when in Round 21 where Danny Tiatto punched Travis Dodd (wow, a skinhead attacking a black guy, what an original concept!). I could then point out that Srebre Delovski decided to send Tiatto off when anyone with functioning kahunas would have let men be men and sort it out themselves by letting their fists do the talking and see who has the ‘gift of the gab’ so to speak. However I won’t because anyone reviving this faggotry should be thrown in the stocks and pelted with rocks & cinder blocks. The fact is, the incident is just a magnet for pussyness as the knock-on effect from Slapgate08 proved with a bunch of New Idea stories popping up about people getting pissy at Andre Gumprecht for wearing a pair of jewstompers and some whinging atheists having a cry at Tony Vidmar for suggesting there is a god & that humans aren’t actually deformed fishes. Now that another godforsaken appeal has been launched, expect to hear some more weak public apologies about the Mad Monday celebrations from Boogaard for not having his shirt tucked in and from Jedinak for leaving his headlights on. The Mariners seem hell bent to get Danny’s punishment squashed because of obvious reasons so chances are, this drama will be stretching over a few more months and while the fanfare of this incident may have hit the wall like Dale Earnhardt, there is still going to be a bunch of news stories about it to remind people how pussy soccer has become. Sadly, we can’t stop this from happening so for the sake soccer's dignity, we must outstupid it so it doesn’t gain the media’s full attention and that can only be possible with the help of Miron Bleiberg. Miron, this is a personal plea for you to come back. I don’t mean the calm and well shaven Miron that has been recently been featuring on TWG. We need Bleiberg MD who self diagnosed himself from suffering with “Farina'oia.” Miron, please, come back. In football’s time of need, you’re the only man who is charismatic yet mentally unstable enough to push Vukovic off the headlines. In our darkest hour, we need to know what was the 4th fact about Miron Bleiberg that Miron forgot to tell us in third person during his phenomenal ‘5 facts about Miron Bleiberg’ mental breakdown rant. We demand the man who attempted to resolve his team’s inability to score goals by fixing the Feng Shui in his locker room rather than benching Warren Moon & Michael Baird. We long for our favourite schizophrenic to hop into his Mercedes with 22 inch spinners, drive down to John Kosmina’s house and think of some words that rhyme with ‘trucking grunt’ again. Miron, you’re our only hope so please, save us from this faggot shit.             
jayfc wrote on March 18, 2008
Title: ...
posting this because
http://www.stopwastingmyoxygen.com/images/19mar08a.jpg
|| jayfc wrote on
March 18, 2008
|
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|