Con Boutsianis was framed! Agendas lol | Agendas lol |
|
|
| Written by JayFC The Internet Warrior God | |
| Thursday, 17 April 2008 | |
|
Look, its no secret that my aim in life is to become Craig Foster’s protégée despite my technically flawed upbringing of watching such tactically unaware leagues as the English Premier League and the NSW Winter League. Unfortunately, I can’t just emulate Craig’s craziness overnight. That craziness has to be earned through years of being forced to watch gut churning, route one football that is synchronized with the heart and soul of British colonial football. Nonetheless, I have been watching a Nike Joga Bonito promotional DVD on repeat for the past 36 hours in loving memory of St Fozzie and now all my level headedness and common sense is non-existent which means I am in the perfect mindset to start an agenda. So sit back as I ramble aimlessly about what I will offer unprovoked criticism throughout the next a-league season. Agenda 1 ~ Midgets sucks
Now let me get one thing clear; people who are shorter than me suck at football. Full stop. No exceptions. Now you would think the way that I write on this blog, I am a 9'8" giant and if you have seen those photos of my genitalia surfacing on the internet, you would think that I'm a 12'9" ogre. The fact of the matter is that I am hideously short. 5”11 to be precise. Now sure, there have been some good footballers who can’t ride on all the rides at the Easter Show because of their height, like Juninho for instance but we live in a democracy and you only need a 51% majority to rule. So Juninho, you pathetic excuse of a human being who would be better off becoming a stunt double for a hobbit rather than a footballer, don't blame me for being a bigot because I generalize due to the failings of Middleby, Minniecon and Murdocca; blame your mother for stunting your growth by smoking during the pregnancy. This agenda will also coincide with my previous existing agenda of steroids as HGH is renowned for increasing height, body mass and your ability to be more like Chuck Norris (who is awesome according to my email inbox).Agenda 2 ~ The debutant season of the a-league sucked and still sucks and keeps on sucking
It was pretty much taboo to criticize anything relating to the debutant season of the a-league because Australian soccer fans were constantly being guilt-tripped over Johnny Warren’s death, who died of lung cancer because we didn’t go down and listen to the sounds of pistachio nut shells being stepped upon at the Brunswick Juventus-Green Gully Cavaliers match at the old Greyhound track back in 1888. But still, 3 years later, there is a lot of suck that needs to be addressed. I mean, seriously, it was truly a god awful competition and the only people who could have found it entertaining were stoners with neurological disorders. This was back in the day when fans were actually excited about the prospect of Michael Ferrante and David Zdrilic returning home. It was back when clubs were considering hiring Nick Theodorpolous ffs. It’s was back in a time when players like Todd Gava, Chris Tadrosee and Carl Veart were actually employed and quite frankly, I am surprised that only 3 teams found themselves on the verge of financial insolvency from those ever so humble beginnings. Jesus Christ, I need to pace myself with this or else I may overdose from all this suck.Agenda 3 ~ The Pending A-League V State League Cup sucks
The FFA are about to introduce a tournament that will see a-league teams face off against state league plebs as Ben Buckley and Co have finally buckled in to the pressure by hundreds of Football Manager addicts who are sick and tired as to why there isn’t a state league cup like there is in the game and why Kaz Patafta isn’t one of the biggest names in the world like in the game. Look, I’m against the said cup concept because one, right now, I wouldn’t even flutter an eyelid at the concept of Sydney FC losing to Sydney Olympic because I know we still have Iain Fyfe in our team and two, this will lure many fans into depression as they discover that state league venues sell food that actually contains meat as opposed to the boiled meat supplement that they shove in a greased bun and sell to anglos at Aussie Stadium for $5 under the commonly known name as a Hot Dog. What we need is a tournament with only A-League clubs and teams from the division 6 over 35’s league. That way, when an a-league team loses, there will be sufficient shock value supplied. FFA, don’t be cowards about this. Let the fans see how much the a-league really does suck. We need to start desensitizing them as to how crap it actually is and not wait for the third world teams in the Asian Champions League to prove it.Agenda 4 ~ Fuck Asia
Australia needs to move out of The Asian Football Confederation, pronto. What is Asian about Australian football besides Frank Farina’s driving, Marco Bresciano’s penis size and our ability to bomb when we go head to head with a world powerhouse? Nothing, that’s what! We need to gtfo of there asap as being in Asia is only detracting fans from our game. How? Do you remember when the a-league was starting up and all these noobs came out of the woods, telling us that they didn’t attend NSL matches because they couldn’t “relate” to the ethnicity of it all? WTF type of an excuse is that? I’ve never gone down to Chinatown and said ‘I would eat this dim sim but I just can’t relate to the soy sauce’. Anyway, the point I’m making is if these idiots wouldn’t go to NSL games because they couldn’t handle the ethnicity, how will these anglos “relate” to us being Asian all of the sudden? Now you understand the problem. I’m all for moving back to Oceania as it’s a lot more respectable having our teams embarrassed by the Solomon Islands than it is to be embarrassed by Laos. Besides, we need to defend our Oceania Nations Cup title from those filthy New Caledonians French rejects and them dirty Palau-wannabe Kiribati scumwhores.Agenda 5 ~ Uglies in the a-league
Too many a-league analysts pussyfoot too often around this ever growing issue but someone has to stand up and address it since everyone else is busy discussing bringing Mark Viduka out of retirement so opposing goalkeepers can give accurate accounts about the melanoma moles on the back of his neck.  Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; if the football isn’t going to be attractive, can some of the players be at least? Right now in the a-league, there’s too much Joga, not enough Bonito and I’m not just talking about football here. Chad Gibson has a face that looks like his mother fell down a flight of stairs numerous times during the pregnancy. Kristian Sarkies doesn’t have a forehead; he has a fourbyfourmetreshead. And Jordan Simpson, jesus, I can’t imagine any female wanting his fetal alcohol syndrome head rubbing all over their genitals. It even goes all the way down to the fans, with Sydney FC head cappo Ned Negus pictured here looking like he raided MC Hammer’s closet and stole a tracksuit plus a sexuality choice, having a face with so much acne scarring that could permanently stop an erection. And after seeing this picture of a Queensland Roar ultra, can we have a moment of silence to mourn the death of my libido. Look, no homo but it’s really simple. Hot players bring hot women while the Sasa Ognenovski type only attracting chicks who look like Rebel bikies that are only a mere Mills & Boon novel away from turning dyke. I can’t believe there wasn’t a whole chapter dedicated to this issue in the Crawford Report.Agenda 6 ~ Alex Brosque
Brosque, I have been rather soft on you in recent times and as tempting as it is to make a Viagra joke right about now, I feel that this lack of angst is part of your lack of form. I want motivate you to lift to greater levels by constantly attacking your character, questioning your sexuality and regularly suggesting that watching you play is as fun as bobbing for apples in a bucket of diarrhea. Right now, you have nothing to aim for as you have already achieved the Australian soccer player dream of horrendously bombing in Europe, so I offer you a new challenge in order to reignite that fire in your belly. I want you to aspire to earn my respect. I know you can do it, you ugly gook. Oh, if my constant belittling of your ability doesn’t help you improve, well then you better pre-plan some excuses as to why your face is swollen because, fuck a bucket of diarrhea, I’m going to make you look like you’ve been bobbing for apples in a beehive as I use your face to break in my new pair of knuckle dusters. I’m serious bitch. Brendan Santalab is also keen to join in the festivities as revenge for you forcing him to spend all that time on the bench. He’s nicknamed Jesus, so when he slits your wrist, you’ll be taking the lord’s name in vein, bizatch.Agenda 7 ~ Get your kids out of soccer NOW!
Do you smell the fear? Do you smell the fear of the soccer fan who fears that a rugby league fan doesn’t fear the fear a soccer fan perceives he fears? I have no hesitations in saying that soccer fans are the most pretentious group of people on the planet. Yes, even more pretentious than bisexual art students after watching a Fellini flick with a Starbucks coffee in their left hand. From the ultras who act `ard but are softer than a carebear whose impotence impaired to the fair-weather fly-ins who are only at a game because soccer is autumn’s must have accessory to match their Collette Dinnigan designer dress. Right now, I want to get personal with you for a second and ask you a serious question. Soon you’re going to breed (if you haven’t already) and your child is going to want to play a sport. Do you really want your children to have a dream of becoming a famous soccer player and be idolized by these idiots? You need to keep your children away from this godforsaken game and into Rugby League to avoid putting them through so much mental scarring. Look, I know you think that the concept of your child one day earning millions of dollars while playing in Europe is gratifying but that paedophile coaching your child’s team at Airds Reserve isn’t going to get your kid anywhere near making that fantasy a reality by forcing him do 20 minutes of groin stretches at every training session. No one respects kids that play soccer nowadays anyway as everyone perceives them as dense kiddies who were too dumb to figure out how to take off the lid from the multivitamin bottle and just continually turn the top for 10 minutes in the same direction, hoping that it will suddenly open. Everyone thinks that in their schoolyard days, they wanted to play tackle the anglo with their maori classmates and attempted to kick a rugby ball only to find that their petty mind couldn’t comprehend how to cope with the level of difficulty a non-oval ball offers. So they sort comfort in a ‘that’s a good try but why don’t you try this instead’ soccer ball. Soccer is like playing Tetris without the L shape blocks. Don’t let your kids play it.Well there is a sneak preview of what I will be presenting next season. I look forward to a brand new season of hate mail and legal notices from you faggots. Peace out.             
that jayfc guy wrote on April 17, 2008
Title: ...
Main banner on your Blog
From: Jake Wilkins ( This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it ) Sent: Thursday, 10 April 2008 4:38:47 PM To: This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it To Whom it may concern, This is a message to let you know that legal action will be taken against you and your website (http://stopwastingmyoxygen.com/frontpage/) if the Main Picture, of the dogs and shirtless male, is not taken down within 48 hours. You do not have the consent of the male in question to show his face on a public website. Your Co-operation will be appreciated. Regards This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
website || that jayfc guy wrote on
April 17, 2008
that jayfc guy wrote on April 17, 2008
Title: ...
From: Dr Diane Hartley (
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
)
Sent: Tuesday, 4 December 2007 2:27:46 AM To: This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This is an enquiry e-mail via http://stopwastingmyoxygen.com from:Dr Diane Hartley To whom it may concern, I am writing on behalf of my client, Mr N. Zelic, with regards to an article on your website namely referred to as "The Ned Zelic Fan Site by Ned Zelic." The purpose of this message is to inform you that my client is currently in a position to legally hold responsible those who are;(a)the direct source behind the production of the website and;(b)those who have authorised its publication to the general public. My client is protected under the Libel Act; which is a harmful statement in a fixed medium, especially writing but also a picture, sign, or electronic broadcast, thus giving way for a Common Law Right of Action. Not only has this breached Libel Laws, which also coincides with the grounds to sue on the basis of Defamation of Character, but Fraud has also been committed. To assume the identity of another person/s entitles my client to Compensatory Damages which WILL be awarded given the nature of the content of the website. My client has NOT given neither written or verbal authorisation for his name to be used in such an unfavourable manner, thus holding you accountable. English law allows actions for libel to be brought in the High Court for any published statements which are alleged to defame a named or identifiable individual or individuals in a manner which causes them loss in their trade or profession, or causes a reasonable person to think worse of him, her or them. If this site specifying my clients name is not removed within 48 hours of the issue of this written request, legal action will be taken against stopwastingmyoxygen.com and those authorising its functionality. I am also requesting that a written response (sent to the email address provided) is issued, notifying me of the completition of my clients as well as my firms request. Regards Dr. Diane Hartley Hartley & Sons Solicitors
website || that jayfc guy wrote on
April 17, 2008
that jayfc guy wrote on April 17, 2008
Title: ...
From: Petition Spot - Simon Overall (
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
)
Sent: Tuesday, 24 July 2007 12:18:25 PM To: This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it Remove my name from this petition please... I did not give permission to have my name there at all. Legal action will occur if this is not done within two working days. Sender Name : Simon Overall Sender E-Mail : This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it Sent From : http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/culinaout
website || that jayfc guy wrote on
April 17, 2008
Cannontime wrote on April 18, 2008
Title: ...
Obviously Ned Zelic is not ready to see greatness
website || Cannontime wrote on
April 18, 2008
lf007 wrote on April 22, 2008
Title: ...
I lol'd. I hope you weren't a massive pussy & pulled the Ned Zelic thing. I will lose all respect for you & not in a post-coital manner either.
p.s I showed this site to a normal human being ( my better half) who feels that you an 'idiot'. I disagree up to a certain point.
website || lf007 wrote on
April 22, 2008
Lying Truth wrote on April 22, 2008
Title: ...
To many 'Agendas' you will lose the people. The term 'the great unwashed' is no myth. Explain Iain Fyfe fans anybody? Really you should only have one maybe two agendas and work those others ideas around the main themes.
For example Craig Foster has 4 agendas at his disposal, Les Murray has one (Johhny Warren is still dead ffs) but gave his other 3 to Fozzie. Fink uses the rare form of insight in retardation instead of agendas, and Tony Palumbo is a wog. And people are acutely aware of them, but still listen to then rant. They hide the agendas by establishing implausibility or language that is bollocks/a foreign accent in the first paragraph, and it is bought???????? Also like to bring up an anomaly in your State league food argument. The Macathur Rams and Sutherland are stinking aussie scum teams littered with ties to the NZ Kingz mark 3 (Rams) and SFC (Sutho). You aint going to get authentic european snack food out at Linwood park or Seymour Shaw, maybe an ice addiction and the likelyhood of future child support payments but Souvlaki or coffee that isn't International Roast, not likely.
|| Lying Truth wrote on
April 22, 2008
JAYYYYYFCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC wrote on April 24, 2008
Title: ...
Cannonball: Ned clearly felt there wasnt enough of his greatness being shown and that is relevant grounds for a defamation case.
LF007: I do not approve of your girlfriend. Break it off with her immediately as her mindset has clearly been corrupted by Jesse Fink. DOM: Good rebuttal but I disagree with you on all parts. If anything there is not enough agendas in the above list. Your concept of a marquee agenda sounds appealing but it would be unfair to belittle some of them as regular agendas. One day, the kids will be saying on sfcuv4.0 :rollseyes: another rehashed article about the ugly midgets from version one who play state league with alex brosque who should teach their kids about how to play flyhalf from craig foster's puppet. add another thread to you count dom :rollseyes: And as for your International Roast tirade; no paper cup kulchaa
|| JAYYYYYFCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC wrote on
April 24, 2008
ZOMG wrote on May 08, 2008
Title: ...
pssst jozef...
its Sydney Football Stadium.. not aussie staidum you sell out fucker. you never told me about the ned zelic legal action lulz...
|| ZOMG wrote on
May 08, 2008
|
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|